One evening last spring, I stopped at my hairdresser’s for any quick blowout before a function. Four hours later, I left with my hood pulled up tight over my head over to hide the truth that I used to be walking out without any hair by any means.
I have alopecia, the fancy medical reputation for when your immunity mechanism attacks your hair follicles for no reason, causing Real Hair Toppers, and I’ve worn a wig since my hair started popping out in clumps over seven years back. I’d gone to my hairdresser (who also ordered and designed my wigs) for countless problem-free blowouts through the years. He and his partner, who was the main one at the salon that night, specialized in women with hair loss.
That night, instead of a blowout, my wig got destroyed. The hairdresser washed my hair wrong – you can’t scrunch up hair over a wig how you can natural hair – and it also ended up in the gigantic knot. Every one of the leave-in conditioner on earth and hours with a comb couldn’t help him detangle it.
My hairdresser was distraught as I left the salon completely hairless and called me the very next day crying about how exactly much it had upset him to view me that way. I had been mostly indignant. Simply how much it had upset him? How about me, the girl who were required to hail a cab inside the rain while clutching frantically on the sides of her hood, lest it slip off? Yes, you can find women available who venture out bald, and look fabulously fierce while the process, having said that i am not one of those particular women. Having hair, even if it’s not growing away from my head, is the thing that gives me the confidence to feel good about myself. He swore if you ask me he makes it for me, which he would get me two new hairpieces as quickly as possible.
Thankfully, I needed a classic wig in your own home in decent condition which i was able to wear for what I thought might be a month or so. But weeks transformed into a month, which converted into two months. I might call and text my hairstylist every week, reminding him repeatedly that I enjoyed a big summer vacation coming up and this I needed to feel happy while taking photos. He swore up and down that this was coming. Then, 14 days before my trip, he explained it was actually in.
The wig was all wrong. The colour wasn’t right. The feel felt rough, not sleek. It had bangs, which I had expressly said I didn’t want. He swore he’d remedy it. I came back two or three days later, and by fixing the color, texture, and bangs, he’d broken the fit, as well as the wig no more fit my head properly. He promised he’d drop everything else so it might be ready for my trip.
The night time before I left for my vacation, I headed to the salon to buy it after work. Once I got out of the subway, I had a voicemail from his partner saying it wasn’t ready yet. I immediately called him back.
You know those crazy people you can see screaming and cursing within their phones about the street, and you wonder why on earth they’re having this type of emotionally charged conversation during the sidewalk? Which was me. I used to be apoplectic. I trusted them exactly what is, essentially, an enormous a part of my identity like a woman, and so i felt like they were treating me without respect. They’d charged me $4,000 to the original wig they’d ruined – not exactly chump change. The hairdresser finally dropped it well at my apartment at close to midnight. I took it from him without having a word in my lobby and closed the door within his face.
I apologized later for the way I spoke to him, however i didn’t, and don’t, apologize for my feelings. We ascribe a tremendous a part of our self-worth to our own hair. I don’t think this is a bad thing by any means, but it really does mean that when something happens to it, our emotions run pretty high. Consider how upset you feel following a bad haircut. Now imagine paying thousands of dollars for this haircut, and after that being saddled with it for years.
The new wig was good enough, but it wasn’t great. It didn’t fit right. The cut still looked off. The top really was bulky with all the extra hair he’d put into “fix” the bangs, so that it didn’t sit flat on my small head, nor did it have a natural-looking part. He hadn’t cut in virtually any baby hairs with the hairline, leaving it harsh. It looked like a wig, which didn’t make up for the $4,000 price or the emotional cost.
The truth that I wear a wig isn’t a secret, but nevertheless, you don’t want to imagine every stranger around the street has taken an additional review your hairline. I’ve been self-aware of Hair Topper Extensions at the back of my head since I started wearing wigs, but initially, I used to be actively, consciously worrying about my appearance each day, a fact made even harder that we couldn’t really talk to anyone about it. I have wonderful friends that will always listen compassionately, but sometimes you simply need anyone to understand precisely what you’re undergoing. Everyone’s had her heart broken. Not everyone continues to be scared a strong gust of wind could unseat her hair.
When I came to work after my trip and told Cosmopolitan.com beauty editor Carly Cardellino what had happened, she caused it to be her mission to aid me get a new, incredible hairdresser. Enter stylist Ursula Stephen, my honest-to-god new fairy godmother. At my consultation, she showed me everything wrong with this wig that I hadn’t even realized – like this every one of the care instructions I’d been given were wrong – including the reality that I’d been overcharged for many four in the $4,000 wigs I’d bought previously. This became one of the most shocking to me: I’d never shopped around to get a stylist, since in the past he’d got me to such great pieces and treated me so well, and I’d thought that, if something, he was giving me a deal on quality hair. Determining otherwise was yet another letdown.
Ursula promised she’d find the right hair for me personally, and I trusted her. This is actually the woman who has been so devoted to getting Rihanna’s look right that she once heated up a curling iron within an actual fireplace when the plug converters weren’t working in another country. If you’re going to trust anyone with something big, it’s her.
Ursula came through so hard that at this time, I would personally trust her with my entire life. My new wig sits perfectly flat on my head and in many cases has a real hairline. I could straighten it, I will curl it, I will jump in a lake by using it. I’m not alert to it being there, the same as the actual way it was when my hair actually grew. If you met me at this time dexnpky97 hadn’t read this essay, you wouldn’t even have a clue it’s not my own, personal hair.
Not considering my hair constantly has given me back the confidence I didn’t realize I used to be missing – after i look in the mirror, I feel good about the person looking back at me. I’ve been worrying constantly about my appearance since I first watched Wiglets For Thinning Hair slide down the sink in clumps whenever I took a shower those yrs ago. Initially in quite a while, I feel as if me.